Friday, March 1, 2013

Sexual Abuse Allegations

There had been a request for a posting on the subject of sexual abuse allegations within the LLC. I myself have no experiences with this and do not think this is exclusively an issue within the LLC. However I feel strongly that any victims of any type of abuse should feel free to seek treatment. The only way to drive out darkness is with Light.

"And if your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life crippled or lame than with two hands or two feet to be thrown into the eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell[c] of fire."

Here are some recent comments that have been left in the blog regarding this issue.

"I just learned of this tonight from a very reliable person. It is an example of the sexual sickness that is covered up in the LLC.

There is a man in Cokato who is a deviant person. Example: He has killed puppies and forced his children and nieces and nephews to watch. I heard this from someone who was force do watch this as a child. About five years ago this man was caught by his wife molesting a child who was under one year old. She wanted to kick him out for good as did her family who supported her 100%.

One minister A, in Minneapolis, and another minister B, in Minneapolis got involved. The man asked for forgiveness and was contrite to them. The family wasn't buying it because they knew of his years long track record, and were at the end of their rope. They told the ministers as much. The ministers passive aggressively attempted to change the families mind and told them that it would be wrong to go to the law or kick the man out of the house. This got to the point where minister B was yelling at the family in a conference call, "Don't you believe in miracles? in forgiveness? He is a changed man." minister A continued to chase down one of the family members, who is very well respected in Minneapolis, for several years to try and get him to change his mind. Everyone I know holds this family and their very evident faith in the highest regard, but the ministers could care less when it comes to the potential damaging reputation of the church.

I know that minister A knows of many sexual crimes of a family in Northern MN, but he never does anything about them besides forgive and forget. Two of the family members in this family , including the patriarch, have had charges filed against them which were later dropped because the police couldn't get cooperation from the victims when it came time to testify in court. Why? The sins are forgiven and its wrong to dig them back up again. Who preaches this to the people in these awful situations? Ministers.

I have done much sleuthing on this issue and I have many victim stories I could share. I saw the case file of a case in another state where the victim was molested over several years by the relative. Right in the case file its says that the victim told two people, who then talked to the perpetrator who asked for his sins to be forgiven and they were. She told a third person, who I happen to know has a backbone of steel, who immediately called the cops and told those who told him shouldn't do it and just "forgive" to take a hike. The victim was fortunate to have someone who cared about her enough to do the right thing.

I think its time for people to start sharing what they know, even if its stuff back from many years ago. The culture of forgive and forget needs to change for these crimes in a major way."

"I have a family member who was sexually assaulted at a youth get together in a park as a young teen. Luckily he was able to get out of the situation before things went to far. The guy who assaulted him was in his twenties. He told someone, they called the cops (who were incompetent), then

 two ministers found out about it from the perpetrator's family and proceeded to put immense pressure on my family member and the person who called the cops not to press charges, so nothing ever became of it. Of course, there was no forgiveness either because the perpetrator was 

from a prominent family. The guy who did it is married with kids now. I've heard he's done similar things to other males."

"A couple years ago, when I still belonged to the church, I was sexually assaulted by another believer on the way to Haps. I brought it up to a best friend, and it was reported to the police and so on. My best friends, parents, and the minister that we talked to took the side of the assaultant, and told me that I was to blame for leading him on. They defended him, and I went through many mental health problems because I truley thought that they were right- I was to blame for what had happened to me. The man that did this still belongs to the church and no one has done anything. He was not put into jail, and nothing at all has happened to him. He walks free. I know now that it wasn't my fault and I couldn't have done anything to stop him, but some of the people that knew about it still think of me as being at fault rather than him. How does this make sense?"

May the victims find peace and may perpetrators repent from their dark and sinful ways. 


  1. This makes me sick. Just because there is forgiveness doesn't mean a person is above the law! A crime was committed and there are consequences for that. I imagine it is very difficult for a victim to come forward and press charges. Is the LLC doing any type of counseling for the victims or helping them out in any way or are they just ignored? Obviously people know things are going on. What about the victims? Is their pain swept under the rug too?

  2. And sexual assault is never your fault. Even if per say a woman was leading a man on and then changed her mind and said no gives him no authority to proceed. I feel for above persons who had to experience this. I pray you have found healing. The perpetrators are sick and need to go to jail.

  3. Norman Hillukka, Kerry Hillukka, three different Woullet's around Cokato and their relations, that I know for a fact. The others I don't know for a fact so I won't name names. This is not to put pressure on the victims, but I want them to know that I believe in personally holding these men accountable. I'm so tired of everyone whispering about it with ZERO accountability. And, hah, I get to remain anonymous, just like they have been doing. More later.
    Matti, Randy, Nate, and those of you that can't admit that more help (as in, professional help, by a qualified party,)may be needed in addition to forgiveness, what do you propose to do to attempt to stave off someone thinking about exposing these people, and the attempts to cover it under the blood of Jesus, to the public? Would you think it was God's way of teaching then?
    The following is a passage from Luke, Chapter 8:
    A Lamp on a Stand

    16“No one lights a lamp and hides it in a jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, he puts it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light. 17For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. 18Therefore consider carefully how you listen. Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what he thinks he has will be taken from him.”

    16No man, when he hath lighted a candle, covereth it with a vessel, or putteth it under a bed; but setteth it on a candlestick, that they which enter in may see the light. 17For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad. 18Take heed therefore how ye hear: for whosoever hath, to him shall be given; and whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken even that which he seemeth to have.

    1. Why don't you turn these men in if you know it to be true? You are held just as accountable as said ministers if you know something.

    2. Please check your facts, your post implies that nothing has been done to any of these men, but Kerry Hillukka was actually sentenced for these crimes, as you can see here:

      I know of more than one family who has either taken someone to court, or been taken to court in regards to these issues. Why would they try hide some and not others? Is it possible that there is simply not enough evidence to charge these men to whom you are referring?

      If these are true, it really does horrify me and the victims deserve help yesterday! But, does anyone actually have proof? I am not discrediting anyones accounts on here, I am simply saying if you are going to name names, you'd better have something to back it up with. Either personal experience, or hard fact...not simply the whisperings of gossipers.

    3. "Why don't you turn these men in if you know it to be true?"

      Wow. Way to blame someone who is actually trying to help. Well, beyond the obvious, that your comment really isn't helpful, knowing is a far cry from being able to report. Having a victim tell you about what someone did to them is secondhand - not the same as a confession from the perpetrator. The minister is much more likely to hear the confession from the perp than anyone else. But if it's secondhand, it's hearsay and not admissible as evidence. Doesn't mean it is or isn't true, just not admissible. The victim has to testify. And many victims are pressured into NOT testifying or pressing charges. Thankfully, some of them are speaking up. It's scary, but it's the right thing to do.

      If someone confessed molesting a child to me, I'd report them in a hot minute. Someone has to stand up and do the right thing. Good grief.

      And furthermore, Kerry probably plea bargained. His criminal sexual conduct isn't on the public record, he's not on the nat'l sex offender registry, and the second charge was dropped. He basically got off with a fine, a slap on the hand, and an "off you go". The victims will live with the fallout their entire lives.

    4. Whether or not Kerry plea bargained is not the fault of the LLC. I just pointed that name out because the guest who posted names hinted that these men had not been charged with or held accountable for their actions. He was indeed brought to court and the legal ramifications were given to him. If we don't feel it was enough we should talk to our congressman, not the LLC ministers.

    5. Serendipity Grace,
      In my research I have found that in the specific case of Mr. Hillukka, the reason for the dismissal of the other charges is because so much pressure was put on the victim from within the LLC that they felt they could no longer testify. That is sick and twisted. I am not saying it is the fault of the ministers exactly, but they are the leaders and influence the group and the group's thinking. If something goes wrond in America, we all blame the president or current majority political group, yes? Do you follow what I'm saying? If the ministers and board members are not to be held responsible for a) not addressing his uncle abusing him and countless others for decades, b) trying to sweep things under the rug, c) attempting to enforce the forgiveness policy thus undermining the sin itself, d) participating in bullying a scared little girl that thought she was doing the right thing and being brave...who is to blame excatly? The congressmen for not infiltrating the organization and handling it for them?!

    6. Okay, I'm not trying to be 'against' victims. I only meant to caution those naming names to be sure you have proof, and to do your research carefully. Just because you heard from someone who heard from someone- this is not proof. In fact, could this be considered slander if you post a name like this with nothing to base it on? You should have either talked to the victim, been the victim, or even heard directly from the perp. I got the impression this person was more or less spreading rumors because they did not seem to know this man had been tried for any of his crimes.....

      I know it is possible, but I find it slightly difficult to believe that one person talked to victims of all of these men.... the victims don't like to talk about it, especially when its one thats 'been swept under the rug' if thats really what happened. When someone says 'this happened to me' I am not going to say they are lying, but when someone says they KNOW someone did something, without actually saying WHY they know, this makes me wonder what they have to base it on. This is not the place to spread gossip, rather truths.

  4. This issue also makes me sick!! And as Joy states because there is forgiveness of sin does not make them above the law. I am appauled that ministers would believe that forgivenss of sin is enough so that there is no need to go to the authorities. This is only for the protection of the church's reputation.

    I can't say that I know all of the interpretations of the law, but if you protect someone from the law for a crime they have committed, is that not what is called "aiding and abedding a felone"?

    1. freddy the free loaderMarch 5, 2013 at 12:24 PM

      Speaking from personal experience, as a male being sexually abused by a female, i know how hard it is for parents to believe that somebody that they thought that they knew would do something as horrific as sexually abusing their kid. After I told my parents they talked to the cops first, than the ministers and it was openly stated to me and them that the forgiveness of sins can be preached but that does NOT take away the criminial fact that happened and that the court of law will run it's course. . . in my case she got one year of jail, did NOT have to register as a sex offender even thought she had more than one victim.why was she let off with such of a light sentnce you may wonder, it was because she plead guilty and did not have to go to court so they dropped most of the charges. Was I intimidated by her, yes i was, was i scared yes, i was, did she threaten to kill me if i told anybody, yes she did. so reading the stories of people not being believed that something happened to them does not suprise me at all, once again after all who wants to believe that somebody that they thought they knew and trusted could do such of a thing. But what is the LLC doing to address the issue people have been asking, since the majoritey of the people on here are probably part of the LLC trying to act like they are not, if you read the Voice of zion you will have noticed that in the past 5-10 years there are more and more stories in it about sexual abuse and how wrong it is and how it is a crime that is punishable by law and how the forgiveness of sins does not give anybody a free pass to do such a crime. I know the subject is being addressed as i have written two articles that were put in the voice of zion and my mom has also written a couple of them, some voice of zions have had back to back pages of stories wrote by people affected by sexual abuse, unfortunatly there was a time frame when things were covered up and as sad as it is some are still covered up....this statement is true for both people in the LLC and not in the LLC...why are they covered up, some to save the embarassment to the victim of people knowing they were sexually abused, some to save the embarassment of the kids who siblings or parents did the abusing, many factors factor in to why people acutally don't come forward and admit to being abused...As if the families of kerry, norman, and the wuollets have not suffered enough, they now are having their past thrown in front of them by nameless people on the internet. . . . do you nameless person have any idea of how hard it is even after many years as being branded as the kid who was abused by such and such of a person, i do....think before you speak..naming names is about the dumbest thing you can do. instead of naming names, since you know first hand, report it to the police and let the judical system, no matter how petty of a sentence they seem to hand out, do it's job.

    2. freddy the free loaderMarch 5, 2013 at 12:27 PM

      did not mean for this to be a reply to someone but rather its own post, sorry

    3. Hi freddy the free loader... thanks for sharing. Interesting name. I am in agreement with you, mostly. I have to check out these Voice of Zions. I feel sad that the victims again are being victimized. Even though I understand Anon 1:11's points, I don't think the idea here is to point fingers and judge, but to search for truth. Actually I'm kind of angry for them. Making statements doesn't equal truth. I'm confused about the motives that this person had in posting this...? I also know how it feels to be branded, even if not for the same reasons as yours. Do you really think that most of the people on here are still current LLC members acting like they aren't? And are you trying to say that articles in the Voice should suffice to be proof of a changed policy or standard? Just asking. I don't really know what the LLC is doing or not doing to address any of these issues because I have been absent for quite some time. In your experience, do you feel as though your situation was handled adequately as far as what the involvement of your church should have been and was?

    4. I understand that you have been abused, and I don't mean to discount your story in any way. But mine was one of the ones posted above, and I truly am not part of the church any longer. I did go to the police, but many parties became involved (a minister being one of them), and I was told to drop the charges. I was almost charged with a misdemeanor for a false accusation, even though it was completely true. I was forced into lying to the police and saying that it didn't happen... I was only 16 and didn't have enough courage to go through with the judicial process while everyone was telling me to stop. Everyone's situation is a little different, so please be sensitive. It took a lot of courage to post my story here.

    5. I personally know several people who were molested as children years ago, mostly by family members, and nothing was ever reported to the police. It was "taken care of" privately, whatever that entails beyond the blanket of "forgiveness", I don't know.

      I'm sorry for the families of the perpetrators, because unless they participated in the abuse, they are victims of these people as well. But keeping quiet is not going to make anything better. Do you know how many people get away with crimes because people don't want to embarrass someone? I don't buy it. I believe a person loses the right to privacy and anonymity when they make the choice out of their own free will to abuse someone. Why is it anyone else's responsibility to not embarrass them? That is part of who they are, now, and not speaking about it perpetuates the problem.

      And yes, it needs to be reported to the authorities when it happens. But when victims are bullied, intimidated and pressured into not filing charges, what is the answer?

      They need to be supported and validated when they speak out, not ignored, disregarded and blamed. And let the mountains fall to the ground, and the institutions and leaders crumble, if that is what it takes. Enough is enough.

  5. Here's the deal, each case is different, obviously. Here's part of my story.
    I was sexually abused, raped, actually, when I was 14 by a man that actually served jail time and left the LLC. But, initially when I finally spoke about it with two ministers, (choose not to involve my parents, I din't want them to catch my unpopularity) they flat out didn't believe me. (Probably because I was already having faith "problems.")They said things like, you must have been presenting yourself in a way that was provocative, everyone falls into the desires of the flesh, the only unforgivable sin is unbelief...encouraged ME to have the offense forgiven. This guy had a wife and kids. I was 14! I did absolutely nothing wrong, except not tell the police immediately, but he intimidated the crap out of me. Eventually his other deeds caught up with him, and he had his reckoning. Years later, I went to an occasion at my home church. Both ministers were present. One refused to make eye contact. I ended up bumping into the other while waiting exiting the bathroom, and he said, "I'm so sorry," and put his head down and walked away quickly. I have long since dealt with that issue with a lot of help. What disturbs me is that I haven't heard that the LLC is addressing the fact that a "forgive and forget" environment is a breeding ground for these personality types. As Anon above me talked about someone who was "convicted," (wrist slap,) it seems pretty plain to me that it was learned behavior, although I don't know for sure. I have not heard that aside from some secret ladies discussions, the topic of abuse is even being addressed at all. NO mention of spousal, physical, verbal or emotional abuse, certainly not spiritual abuse. If they can have discussions on movies, music, etc., why are important things so neglected and ignored?
    I am so sickened by the thought of someone molesting a one year old. Actually any kid, especially. The wife "caught" him? this would imply she knew but hadn't any proof. There are so many stories, I feel that at least a percentage of them must have some root of truth.
    So my question for all of you is, what can be done? If anyone is to do anything, it would be people that care, such as those of you here, hopefully.

    1. Anon, you look to have a much different perspective than Freddy. Is this is because he is in church and you arent idk thats what i can come up with but i am sorry for you. Or maybe it was at different times and places again idk.

    2. Your story is so similar to mine, and I understand how it feels to be in that position. I think that this is an issue that should be brought up in the church towards the ministers. Things like this can be forgiven, but it is still against the law to commit crimes such as these. Being a member of the LLC shouldn't give someone a 'free ride,' and I wish that the ministers understood that legal consequences still should take place.

    3. I think that when asked about this, a minister would probably know that the appropriate answer is that if someone broke the law, they should be accountable. However, when it comes to putting it into practice, you'll hear them sing a different tune.

      I can hear it now...Well, you know, if this gets reported and he gets arrested, he could lose his job, and maybe more, and then his family will suffer, too. They could lose everything. It's probably better if we just talk to him and make sure it won't happen again...

      But what about the victim, who will suffer from the experience their entire life? It never goes away, you know. It's there with you when you're going to sleep at night, and it gnaws at your sanity until you think you can't take it anymore. It eats away at your self-esteem, and wears down your mind until sometimes you don't even recognize yourself. It might take a caring friend to notice that you are sinking into anxiety and depression. Maybe it's because you don't know how to handle the anger and rage and hurt that you're not supposed to be feeling anymore because if you truly had forgiven and forgotten, why would you still be feeling all of these things? And then you beat yourself up for not being able to let it go, when you were never allowed to process it in the first place. It's like a living hell on earth, with no justice and no peace. And no minister in the LLC knows how to fix THAT, so they worry about damage control for the perpetrator instead.

      Bitter, am I, you might ask? Yes, just a bit.

  6. Freddy the freeloaderMarch 6, 2013 at 12:42 AM

    Yes, I do believe there are a lot of people on here that are still part of the LLC, could i be wrong, yes I could. No, I am not saying that just because the voice of zion is carrying issues on sexual abuse that it means that there is a policy change,( i was unaware that there was a policy in place for sexual abuse) I am saying that the issue is being brought to light and is no longer being ignored and is hopefully not being swept under the rug anymore. And in my case i do believe it was handled right. In the case of AnonymousMarch 5, 2013 at 7:43 PM
    i do not believe it was handled properly, they should not have been pressured into dropping the charges, instead they should have been supported as they were the victim of a crime, unfortunatly in their case they became the accused, happens everywhere not just in the LLC again it's hard for people to believe that somebody that they knew and trusted could do this stuff.
    March 5, 2013 at 8:25 AM comments on the "forgive and forget" is a breeding ground for this type of enviroment. Abuse of any kind is a criminal matter and is not a "forgive and forget" scenario as you spell it out to be. It's a rather simple but yet complicated process. you go to the cops and report it. the criminal part is done..whatever happens from it for the forgive and forget part, If the person wants to be forgiven, you forgive them of their sins and forget it ever happened...easier said than done, hard to forget that stuff, i know, personal experience, but just because you forgive them does not mean the criminal side stops, they still have to suffer for their actions...if anybody tries to talk you out of it they are wrong.... You would hope that the concequences suffered by the law would be enough to stop them from doing it again, but normally that is not the case, but that also is not a LLC matter, that is a matter of the individuals moral compass that is so messed up the only thing to fix it is a bullet to the head.
    AnonymousMarch 5, 2013 at 8:58 PM, by reading this I sense that this is a personal issue. I myself do not care what happens to the perp that commited the crime as far as their name being ruined, their family life being ruined, them losing their job, what sucks is when the victims get to relive their experience when the name of the perp gets brought up again as in the case above of the name dropper who was dropping them to make sure people knew they had did something i guess.
    victims no matter if they are in the LLC or not will always remember even if they do forgive and forget..just because you forgive and forget does not mean your mind automatically has a erase button on it to get rid of the memories, forgiving is not always easy to do and forgetting is even harder...but after you have forgiven somebody of the sin you simply don't bring it up again, it does not mean that you have to hit that magic erase the memory button that does not exist in your mind, it also does not mean that you do not bring them to court for their crimes, as these are two seperate matters. criminal, and spiritual, and anybody who tries to tell you not to bring it to the cops because it has been taken care of is wrong IE: family, friends ministers, or sadly in many cases the perp themself

  7. Names of molesters should definitely be dropped to protect FUTURE victims. Society is victimized by these people. Of course not to the degree that a victim is victimized, but sex crimes against children are a sin against society as well. And society has a right to know who these people are.

    To the above person who was molested by a female. I'm very sorry to hear what happened and I'm glad it was taken care of in the appropriate way at the time. But do all the people around her know her past so they can protect their kids? If they don't, why not? Do you feel a moral obligation to share your story to protect others? I'm genuinely curious. Or is the moral obligation to keep quite about molesters, so victims do not have to relive their experiences? I highly doubt anyone here will be naming victims. I feel bad for victims who do have to relive this stuff, but that is not the fault of a name dropper who is only saying the name of the molester. Its the fault of the criminal who committed the crime in the first place.

    I called the Wright County Sheriffs Office and talked to Detective Andy Fashant about this issue. He told me that since 2005, he's investigated nearly two dozen cases amongst the Laestadian church in Cokato, and is very familiar with several Laestadian families. He's very aware of the issues in the church and how things are covered up.

    Many of the people who have reported sex crimes, have moved from the Cokato area and then called him from Arizona, Alaska, and other areas to report cases of molestation going back many years. Due to the fact that the church STRONGLY encourages victims to forgive and forget, it is difficult for them to prosecute a crime because the victim reports it in adulthood (years after it happened) and nobody will talk about it when they investigate. Even though people around the victim in the church knew of the crime at the time it happened. This happens over and over and over again.

    Wright County has successfully prosecuted a few people in Cokato, but the detective cannot tell me who they are because they do not rise to the MN mandated disclosure level for law enforcement. But he said there is nothing to prevent those that know these people or the events that occurred from sharing this information. There are plenty that do know (ministers), but once sins are washed away, nobody will talk. I feel that penitence is almost meaningless to the LLC as a group, which makes it a great place for a child molester to keep molesting. If a molester was truly repentant, he would confess to the congregation that he/she has a lifetime problem, and everybody should keep their kids away.

    1. Continued from above post...

      The detective and I also talked about what a Mandated Reporter is in the State of Minnesota. In his church, all the people who work for the congregation in any role, are educated about their legal responsibilities as a Mandated Reporter. If someone works in the role of health care, social services, child care, education, etc. they are mandated to report a statement of a crime against a child. If they don't, they are committing are crime by not reporting.

      Many Laestadians have reported second hand knowledge of these crimes to detectives, but the people who have first hand knowledge(ministers) and who are mandated to report, are preaching to those involved to "forgive and forget" in many cases. The ministers are not obligated to encourage the molester to turn themselves in, they are obligated TO PICK UP THE PHONE THEMSELVES AND REPORT A CRIME.

      In LLC publications, and in church discussion, there is much talk nowadays about how the law needs to be followed as well, along with forgiveness. But when it comes time to follow up on talk with meaningful action, it rarely ever happens. Once minsters are picking up the phone and calling the police, and disclosing to the congregation the people who are predators so everyone can protect their kids, then we'll know that this is an issue where the LLC really wants to do the right thing.

      I won't name the molester or the infant who was molested in the aforementioned case in Cokato, to respect the opposing viewpoints here. But I will name the ministers who were supposed to report the crimes according to MN law, but didn't. Its KW and RR (I put it in initials so their names aren't searchable on Google). Luckily one of the family members did report and the detective was able to do an investigation which he then referred to the county attorney's office.

      If anyone wants to report a molestation crime in Minnesota, that they know a minister is a aware of and not reported, they can simply make a report of what they heard and give the police the minister's name and cell phone number. The police will call them and they will be legally obligated to report any confessions or other first hand knowledge they are aware of. This would make it much easier for law enforcement to do their work.

      Law enforcement often has limited time and resources, so anything that can help them get straight to the crux of the matter helps.

    2. You are serious about this...I can tell. Thank you! Thank you for caring about justice, and about doing the right thing, and about the victims strewn along the way left lying here and there willy nilly, and about the future victims. just...thank you. I'm holding back tears as I's so rare to hear someone validate instead of minimized the effect and the impact of something so life-changing. Oh, my's like sunlight shining out from behind the clouds...

  8. LLC- limited liability company. Ironic.

  9. There is a guy in Phoenix, who is divorced, who has a long history of sexual perversion. He is not allowed by the courts to come to church when his kids are there, but I don't think any of his kids come anymore. One of his victims from years ago told my aunt about some of the things he did to her when she was a child. My aunt was so repulsed by it that she couldn't even repeat the words, because it disgusted her so much. All she could say was "it was horrific"....This man regularly exhibits predatory grooming behaviors with his friends' kids which boggles my mind. Why anyone would let their kids around him, knowing his past, is beyond me. He also spends his time with families that have a rumored history of sexual molestation... I would never let my kids out of my sight in Phoenix or Cokato. To many iffy people around, and probably many others that only a few know about.

  10. A few years ago when I was still in the llc I had got together with ladies/moms on an afternoon. We were talking about sexual abuse in homes. One women said very innocently "oh I think it happens all the time in large families. It happened to me by a few of my brothers, it's pretty common. Parents are so overwhelmed they don't know what's happening half the time." I was shocked and disgusted. I had never experienced anything like that growing up. A few of the other ladies there agreed with her that it is common. Kind of a twisted and sick environment to raise a child in.

  11. While your postings are shocking, they are not. I am from the FALC, and have heard similar stories, horrific, appalling, and preachers not doing the mandated reporting....of so many people knowing for years and nothing being done.

    You are doing a service to the victims by being brave enough to speak up, others will follow. The only way abuse will end is to break the silence that holds it in place.

    Forgive and forget IS the magic that keeps pedophiles in business...and victims with no road to healing.

    When speaking up, you will get flack, and others will worry if you are 'ruining' lives, when in actuality the perpetrator made his own choices and is the impetus for setting the wrecking in motion, not you. It is just another tactic to keep you silent.

    A victim is never to blame or at fault, EVER. And, more pedophiles are actually assisted by the spouse, preachers and other 'good' christians.

    I believe we are the beginning blogs and openings for more and more stories to pour out.

    I wish you peace and empowerment as you write your way to a stronger, wiser you.

    Beth (Huhta) Jukuri - I seen your blog "shared" on Facebook, extoots group.

  12. Ah yes, the breeding ground is alive and well.
    Some of us left. Others stay...all for various reasons. Some related to the abuse, some not.
    The effects of the abuse on the victims...that lasts forever.
    Oh, and as Freddy said, it isn't all males doing the perpetration.
    The thing is, fundamentalist faiths are virtual closed societies, and closed societies are breeding grounds for abuse of all sorts. Secrets are kept very well.
    As a therapist, I now work with victims, and while there are not any LLC members in my caseload, those victims of incest often come from very similar family dynamics.
    Because of the secrecy and the atmosphere, at least when I was young, this stuff was never talked I had no clue until years later the degree to which this sickness reached.

  13. "this got to the point where minister B was yelling at the family in a conference call, "Don't you believe in miracles? in forgiveness? He is a changed man." minister A continued to chase down one of the family members, who is very well respected in Minneapolis, for several years to try and get him to change his mind."

    Sexual abuse responded to, not with compassion and care, but with spiritual abuse.


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